Evolution of an escort

Click here for enlarged image of The Garden of Earthly Delights by Hieronymus Bosch.  *Image information at the end of this post.

I have been interviewed about being an escort a couple of times in Australia many years ago and not so long ago in New Zealand. I personally love to hear stories of how things in our lives develop. Change is the only constant.

Most of us were brought up to believe any involvement with #sexwork or #sexworkers was very bad. Share on X

I love to hear “punting stories” too, as clients always change over time and the experience they are looking for in an escort (if they still see escorts) also changes.

Most of us were brought up to believe any involvement with sex work or sex workers was very bad … yet here we all are.

Isn’t life a funny thing?

And having been in and around the sex industry makes it even funnier. I have met amazing people whom I never would have come across otherwise, ladies and clients. Lots of funny synchronicities. A sixth sense for sniffing out BS. Also a sixth sense for sniffing out quirks in people worthy of celebration.

I was talking with a fellow escort around my age about how we’ve evolved in escorting and, reading a younger retiring escort’s goodbye reflections with her gratitude for what the industry has given her, is a variation on that.

I started in the industry a long time ago, when it was still illegal. At that time, I was a ship girl in Wellington working from a flat in Patenga Cres, Thorndon – not far from the Botanical Gardens. I was only in my late teens and had so much money (unbankable, due to sex work being illegal), I ran out of things to buy with it! It was a very happy time for me, I even still had a straight job (as ship girl work – going on boats and hanging out at the Sunset Strip in Cuba Street happened in the evening) and life was good.

I then headed off to Sydney where I worked in a gentleman’s club in the city, over to London where I worked in a poky little bar which was a pickup joint for escorts (all MILFs except for me in my 20s) then back to Sydney where I worked in another establishment at Potts Point. Sex work gave me the money to travel a lot to other places too.

By then my party lifestyle was catching up with me and I seriously had to confront my addiction issues so I came back to New Zealand and started afresh. I fell in love, had a family and got myself a job I loved.

Then the earthquake happened. I briefly worked in Wellington at a place called Bon Ton but got sidetracked by another relationship and no longer wanted to do sex work.

A couple of years later though I found myself back in the sex industry. I loved it, I blogged regularly about escort and sex issues. I published some sex work-related erotic fiction stories too.

I joined the adult forum and toured the country regularly, making some great money, all legally and taxable/bankable. I also ran a 3 bedroom 3 ensuite SOOB (small owner operated brothel), where I also operated occasionally as a MILF cam model, what fun. During this time I was able to pay off my mortgage then took a break from sex work for 15 months to do something else, always intending to come back.

Again I had numerous overseas trips and other fun experiences.

Somehow during this time a lot of things changed, friends were texting me saying the industry was dead. But I returned and reestablished myself with fewer tours and more relationship-building with regulars and local repeat clients.

It’s interesting how #escorting has evolved for me to suit my age and age-appropriate clientele. Share on X

As I don’t have my SOOB anymore (and the expenses and obligations of it), I am in quite a cosy, low-expense situation which takes a lot of pressure off my shoulders (meaning I don’t need to charge big money or see XX number of clients) and suits my age-bracket and what my clientele are looking for. I still see clients who used to visit me in my early days in Christchurch. They are looking for a “sure thing” (ie who delivers what is promised) who they can talk to affectionately without any need for pretence and fakery. This situation means that I’m less affected by financial issues in the wider economy too. Also my clients are nicer, less rough and more respectful.

It’s interesting how escorting has evolved for me to suit my age and age-appropriate clientele. During my time as an escort, some kinds of services have become redundant (sex work on ships), methods of marketing have changed (ads in the paper and sex workers’ business cards in London phone boxes replaced by the internet) and we have had to cope with big changes in society (decriminalisation of sex work and covid-19).

The great thing about the sex industry is that there is no one way. Share on X

I encourage everyone thinking of escorting or reevaluating their escort work to look at what suits their lifestyle and find a way to do it. The great thing about the sex industry is that there is no “one way”. There are so many options to suit everyone’s life situations, whether it is Only Fans, sugarbabying, or selling content in other ways (photos and video phone sex services etc). You can even have a full-time job and do it occasionally on weekends.

I really love the sex industry and enjoy looking back at and discussing with friends how it has been such a game-changer for us all.

NB I wrote parts of this post on a New Zealand online forum.

Salvador Dali was a favourite of mine when I was the teenager who began as a #sexworker. Share on X

Image information:

Detail from Garden of Earthly Delights

Img: Details from Bosch’s Garden of Earthly Delights (ca. 1500)

This wonderful artwork of heaven, hell and everything in between by early surrealist artist Hieronymus Bosch, was created between 1490 and 1510, when Bosch was between 40 and 60 years old – only proving that age is no barrier to creation of wondrousness in art (and sex work). Being a sex worker is indeed surreal so I chose The Garden of Earthly Delights (Dali’s The Great Masturbator came a close second, as Salvador Dali was a favourite of mine when I was the teenager who began as a sex worker) because it represents the multitudes of perversities and beauty which encompasses many aspects of sex work, and while the intention behind this masterpiece is unknown, Wikipedia says interpretations . . . range from an admonition of worldly fleshy indulgence, to a dire warning on the perils of life’s temptations, to an evocation of ultimate sexual joy. The intricacy of its symbolism, particularly that of the central panel, has led to a wide range of scholarly interpretations over the centuries. Twentieth-century art historians are divided as to whether the triptych’s central panel is a moral warning or a panorama of paradise lost.” 

This is apt because depending on where you are placed in the world in regard to sex work (as a sex worker, a client, or someone who knows of one or both of the above), one or some or maybe even all of those beliefs about sex workers may have been held at some time in ones life and ones ideas may have even evolved over time.  Being a sex worker over quite a large part of my life has at times included the perils of life’s temptations and worldly fleshy indulgence, but mostly it has been about evoking, for both myself and other people, ultimate sexual joy. 


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