Tag: independents
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Lurking and Peering and the Culture of Complaint
The day I visited my friend and fellow sex worker, Clio, at her house*, I was wearing my (non-sex worker-like) day clothes of jeans and a plain, dark woollen top and carrying a large, black art portfolio, as I was visiting to show Clio some sketches from a creative project I started at university. As…
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A Way to Spend Money
Sex work is about sex and money, so I often think about money and what to do with it. Money is just a tool with which we build our freedom, but not having any of this freedom-tool is not much fun at all. And yet I am surprised at the drama that surrounds so much…
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Buying Sex – creative licence and a Canadian doco
This blog post may not be of interest to many readers because it is about a film that not many will get to see and it is not really a film that’s even worth seeking out. But it’s about buying sex, which involves clients of sex workers so I thought I would give my take…
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So, you are the black sheep of the family…
Christmas is the time of year when we are confronted by where we came from – most of us, while not necessarily being physically present with our family members, at least make contact with them – and the realities of who they are (and maybe what they have always been like) becomes glaringly apparent. Families…
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Me as Mrs Jones, a MILF
MILF, Ms O’Hara, has a thing going on with a number of young and young-at-heart men My non-Amber, slightly frumpy, mother-next-door self lives a double life as an insatiable MILF and this little secret injects a huge amount of spice into my life. As Amber, I am ready in my boudoir wearing tiny corsets, stockings and…
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Sex work is hot!
Image: Flight of the Conchords still from the video Sugalumps That lady with the chopsticks at the beginning of the video. I get like that. So, sex work can be pretty darn hot. Sometimes I feel like a slutty 16 year old all over again. (Other days not so much.) But it is so much…
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Fond Farewells
This is a final blog post, by my friend, Clio the ex-whore, recently retired. Retirement only sort of suits me. Only a couple of weeks ago an ex colleague and I were reminiscing over a few cocktails. We don’t miss it, we said, isn’t great to have a straight job and be proper respectable women…
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Sex workers and websites: if you build it will they come?
Although many sex workers are still getting websites built for them or DIYing it with free sites like WIX or blogs, I have heard some saying they don’t know what to do with them (“now what?”) or how to get clients (“traffic”) to go to them. So I’ve been picking the brains of one or…
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A taboo subject: sex workers from the same family
1978 movie Pretty Baby publicity still* As Christmas is for family get-togethers, I occasionally ponder at this time of year, the place of sex workers within, or their relationships with, their families. Lately I have been talking with a few sex workers who have other family members also in the industry. Even though there are…
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What’s the deal with female orgasms?
Oh my. To my delight, my phone has been ringing lately with a few gentlemen who actually express that they have an intention for me to also come (or cum, but I prefer the other spelling). I think it is wonderful that for whatever reason, and there are probably many motivations for this, men are wanting…
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Selling sex
It seems that a few sex workers I have spoken to get a bit funny about the bit where clients hand over the money, and I can’t for the life of me see why. To me, it is one of the most exciting parts and it is what differentiates us sex workers from the…
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Sex work, mental health and sex addiction
From the show The Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze by Max Gimblett I found it interesting when a sex worker I am acquainted with wrote that her father, on finding out she was a sex worker, enquired as to how she was going to safe guard her soul. He could just as easily have…
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What it’s like to be the only one
Stephanie Hunter – Australian Escort I’ve been in touch with a few escorts from Australia as well as one or two kiwi escorts now working over the ditch. It seems that even though our laws are similar, that is, that penetrative oral sex must also be covered, in recent times, in Australia sex workers have…
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Love Within Sex Work
I found this tweet the other day and it really resonated with me. It’s because I feel exactly the same about my clients. I really love those dudes! A lot of the time I give my heart and soul to my clients, and get it back in spades. Which got me thinking. Is this professional,…
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Fake cocks in bisexual fantasies?
It’s said that we are all bisexual to a degree with some being closer to the gay end of the spectrum and others being closer to the straight end but mostly we are somewhere in between. I personally identify as bisexual but as I don’t have available a regular girl playmate who is also a…
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Talk dirty to me
You may have noticed that I offer a new service now, namely phone sex. I’ve always been the girl who loves sex and especially loves to talk about sex, I guess that’s why I have this blog: so that those who want to listen (read) can. But there is something even more wanton when you…
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Safe Sex (Play) for Clients
(life as art) This long post was originally written for a sex industry association with the brief How Not to Pick the Wrong Sex Worker and the tagline “warning signs for clients”. It has been adapted for my blog Is there a wrong type of service provider or only a wrong type of service provider…
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Safe Sex (Work) for Sex Workers
I have to say we’re pretty darned lucky in countries like New Zealand where sex work is 100% legal because it means that if anyone tries to harm us, the cops are on our side. Absolutely fabulous situation, it means exactly that because there is the threat, of the long arm of the law who…
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High-class tarts versus low-down whores
Portrait of a Courtesan (c. 1520) by Palma Vecchio I always find it interesting to hear opinions on the classes of sex workers and who fits where. As I mentioned in my post about ship girls, we ship girls were considered pretty darn low-class for having sex with sailors, yet I found that the clients were…
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OUT!
The Scream by Edvard Munch One thing sex workers seem to fear most is being outed, or an aspect of their lives being outed, and interestingly it is probably the most well-used threat some sex workers make against others. However, quite often sex workers let things slip, for example by their lifestyles or in conversations…
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The virgin and the whore
I know someone who decided to save her virginity until she got married, but eventually she became a crusty old unmarried thing rattling around with that dastardly virginity which she just could not lose, as potential husbands became thin on the ground, even with the glittering reward of her virginity on offer. I, on the…
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Advice from a Client
Les Nymphes et le Satyre by William Bouguereau. 1873, Clark Art Institute, Williamstown, Massachusetts. I welcome contributions from readers and clients, and while the contributor below has never been to see me, I gather he has chalked up quite a bit of experience seeing working ladies in his time. Over to him: I have been…
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Politics and Working Girls
A working girl (in the other sense of the word or apparently the equal of*) Like all tales of politics, this could get long and boring. Personally, I have spent my life being a tiny dot amongst big groups of people starting with my huge immediate and wider family and large church communities, various groups…
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Loving relationships: can a sex worker have it all?
“I loved you since I knew ya, I wouldn’t talk down to ya”…* I’ve known sex workers since I began working as a teenager who have been in long term relationships with people since before they were sex workers, as well as relationships which started while they were sex workers with their clients and with…
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Dear Baby Hooker…
Congratulations! You’ve recognised that you can put a value on something that there is a bit of a demand for and decided to become a sex worker. Here are some things that I’ve gleaned over the years, or that I wish I’d known way back when. Once you’ve been a sex worker, you will always…
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Are you old enough?
Still from the music video of Dragon’s Are You Old Enough? The legal age to be a sex worker in New Zealand is 18 and most sex workers will not accept clients under 18. According to my (light) investigations, there is actually no age restriction for sex workers’ clients other than the age restriction…
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Slightly kink – English
English is not a term that is commonly used to describe caning and other parallel activities, but apparently it used to be and I feel it is quite obvious where that term came from, for anyone who prior to 1980 had any experience of English-style boarding schools, boys’ boarding schools that is. I went to…
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Slightly kink – Japanese
I don’t know if it is a thing that japanese people* do – but we jokingly call sex while menstruating “Japanese”, referring to the fact that a large red puddle of blood on a white sheet resembles the japanese flag. Yes, more squemishness may be in store for you and you may even doubt this but…
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Who’s that talking about you?
Sharon O’Neill (right) who wrote the song Maxine with the actress who played her in the Australian version of the music video (which this image is taken from.) A few days after my Christmas day blog post about whether or not a sex worker should tell her family she is a sex worker, I had a long…
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All hookers are crazy
Like many sex workers, Brigid was a goddess of contradiction. I do believe that, to a degree, due to the nature of the job, all hookers are slightly crazy. That’s because, among the many other crazy-making issues, the one that is the most anxiety-inducing of all is that no matter how open about what we…