Back in the day, before the Prostitution Reform Act happened here in New Zealand, I was a sex worker for a time, and I have to say, things really have changed, and not just legally.

Life was different then, in that soliciting was illegal.  From what my fellow sex workers and I understood, this meant that once you got into the room with a client, you could not discuss prices openly in a certain way in case he was a cop.  The last thing you wanted was to get arrested because you could find your name splashed across the newspapers, and once people know you have been or are a sex worker, it is like a bell that can not be un-rung.

So your client and you would walk into the room with a bed and a shower and do this strange kind of dance with language.  The conversation would go like this:

Sex worker: So let’s get the paperwork out of the way, shall we?  Is it just a massage today?

Client: Do you do any extras?

At this point the sex worker could (I believe, legally) say, “Sure, french (oral) is such and such dollars, and full service is such and such dollars.”  We didn’t really do greek (anal) and hardly anyone kissed.  A hand job came “free” with every massage.

What could get a sex worker in trouble would be if the conversation went like this:

Sex worker: So let’s get the paperwork out of the way, shall we?  French (oral) is such and such dollars, and full service is such and such dollars.  What are you having today?

Client (undercover cop): You are under arrest for soliciting.  Please accompany me to the station.

Nowadays, everything gets covered on the phone.  But potential clients have different questions.  A phone call will go like this:

Amber (me): Hello, Amber speaking.

Client: Hi Amber, I wonder if you could tell me what your prices are, where you are based, and when you are available please.

Amber: Sure, it’s $140 for half an hour and $200 for an hour, I’m based just south of the CBD near Sydenham, and I will be available shortly.

Client: Am I allowed to french-kiss and go down on you?

Amber: Absolutely.  I offer a full girlfriend experience.

It goes without saying nowadays that full service includes sex and french but I had never heard of a GFE or girlfriend experience until my recent entrance back into the sex industry.  Maybe back in the day, we hookers were pretty cold or clinical with our clients, as hardly anyone kissed, and really, you just got in there, did all your little tricks, had a bit of a chat and maybe a cuddle if there was any time left over and that was that.

I notice some sex workers don’t offer GFE or they may charge extra for it, which is kind of cool, that we can do whatever we want.  So long as we offer safe sex (the law says that sex workers must “ensure a prophylactic sheath (condom) or other appropriate barrier is used if those services involve vaginal, anal, or oral penetration or another activity with a similar or greater risk of acquiring or transmitting sexually transmissible infections”), we can offer our service anyway we want.

I personally can’t imagine sex being fun without kissing and having fun together, and as I want to enjoy doing this job my way, yes, I offer GFE.  I approach what I do playfully, but the law is behind me if things aren’t that comfortable, fun or safe and I need to call a halt to what is going on.  Fortunately though, as a mature sex worker, I can tell fairly well on the phone whether or not I am going to click with the gentlemen who call, and the ones I get on well with are the ones who have booked me so far.

Did I enjoy it back then when it was illegal?  I certainly enjoyed aspects of it, like the camaraderie with other sex workers (some of whom are still dear friends of mine) and I also met some very delicious and wonderful men.  But the black cloud which was ever present was the threat of arrest, or the threat of being hurt by clients who knew that you could do nothing about it.  I did have two very scary incidents which could have ended very badly which I may or may not blog about one day, as well as a run in with a police officer, who happened to be a friend of a friend, which could have been why I was not arrested.

As for the sex, I was younger and overall didn’t enjoy sex as much as I do now, possibly because I know my own body better now, as well as having a better appreciation for men.  Instead of rushing through a routine of tricks to get clients out of the door, I am like, “hang on, get back here! I haven’t finished with you yet……”