Tag: well-being
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Evolution of an escort
Click here for enlarged image of The Garden of Earthly Delights by Hieronymus Bosch. *Image information at the end of this post. I have been interviewed about being an escort a couple of times in Australia many years ago and not so long ago in New Zealand. I personally love to hear stories of how things…
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Can sex workers and clients stay afloat in a recession?
A Dutch pinnace in a rough sea (1625) By Cornelis Verbeeck License: Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons So the recession is due, suddenly, or maybe gradually, paying for sex will be a struggle for some. Some will settle in with some popcorn and porn and let Mrs Palmer and her five daughters take care of things.…
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Is sex work a profitable business?
A diagram of Michael Porter’s Five Forces based on an image from Porter M. E., Competitive Advantage: Creating and Sustaining Superior Performance (New York: Free Press, 1985), page 5. I once had a lady come and visit me for the day in Christchurch from Wellington because she wanted to interview me to figure out whether…
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Sex work after lockdown
You can’t please all of the people all of the time. You’ll need to login to enjoy this anonymous phone message It seems not long ago that Covid-19 broke out and we were forced into lockdown, and now we are nearly into level 2. According to the government business website, in level 2, non-medical massage…
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Love as community
Tiziano Vecellio, called Titian (b. Pieve di Cadore, ca. 1488-d. Venice, 1576), Venus Blindfolding Cupid, ca. 1565, Borghese Gallery, Rome A contemplation on Amber O’Hara’s What gets women off? and Love within Sex Work. Amber O’Hara proposes an interesting question in her two part series What gets women off? One guesses she explores this question…
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Sex Workers Starting With Why
Roy Lichenstein We Rose Up Slowly (1964) Why do sex workers do what they do? I’ve been enjoying the fabulous book Start With Why by Simon Sinek after a recommendation by someone I respect a lot and who has had an amazing career in their (creative) field. In fact I listened to the audio…
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Lady on lady sex work adventures
Golden Head by Golden Head, illustration by Dante Rossetti for Christina Rossetti’s Goblin Marketand Other Poems(1862) Golden head by golden head, Like two pigeons in one nest Folded in each other’s wings, They lay down in their curtained bed – Christina Rossetti in Goblin Market It’s not just men who enjoy sexy times with sex…
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Deeper and Deeper
Still images in this blogpost are all from Madonna’s official video for Deeper and Deeper. Beware! Our idols and demons will pursue us, until we learn to let them go! Now that I am a lady of a certain age, different things matter to me. I like to take time smelling the roses, and I’m…
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Some men (who love their wives) visit escorts
Sometimes couples stay together because they really love each other and want to continue the personal investment they’ve made in their past and the family unit and home. The monogamous ideas that have been passed down through the ages means that couple are obliged to only make love with each other until the end of…
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Is your heart safe?
La Belle Dame Sans Merci, painted by Sir Frank Francis Bernard Dicksee Can sex work involve real affection or is one or both parties just being played? I don’t consider whatever feelings I’ve ever had or that have ever been declared to me during sex work ‘true love’, whatever the fuck that is, but I…
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Desire: The Secret
The Fisherman and the Syren by Frederic Leighton (1858) Sometimes when I start writing, if I have a theme or an idea I want to think about, I search online for the single word or phrase. I did this with desire only to discover that there are many self-help books out there around spirituality, in particular…
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What gets women off (part two)
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there was a epidemic of sexual dissatisfaction called Hysteria. Women all over the place were getting it, the symptoms were vast and doctors were treating it by massaging the clitorises of their patients. This method of treatment would result in what was then known as a paroxysm,…
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What gets women off (part one)
It’s been widely concluded that it’s harder for women to get aroused than men, and that it takes longer. That some women lose interest in sex. That some women have a lower libido overall than most men. The thing is with (straight) men, a glimpse of bosom or derrière seems to be able to do…
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The pleasures of non-sex work
I often write about how much I love sex work, and one of the reasons I love it as a lifestyle is because it gives me so much time to get involved with various projects as non-Amber. Since I began sex working again, I learned a lot about publishing on Amazon kindle by guinea-pigging myself…
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Can his family affect a man’s confidence in bed?
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Danny de Vito, two quite sexy dudes, played test-tube brothers in the film Twins* My usual Christmas blog posts have something related to families since this is the season to be with our kin or if not, due to distance or some other factor, at least give our thoughts to them for…
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Forced conversations when you’ve been outed
Cyber bullying comes in many forms, from the relatively mild (but still harmful) tweet-bombing, Facebook posting, harassment on online forums etc, to the most dreaded extreme for sex workers – being publicly outed and/or lied about as a sex worker on websites set up to humiliate. When this happens, and sex workers have to deal with…
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Sex Workers’ Supporters: Please take a bow
Sex work: sometimes it really is fields of daisies and buttercups. Painting by John William Waterhouse. Frequently during discussions about sex work, the subject is raised of bitches and bitchiness among sex workers. Perhaps images of girls pillow fighting while wearing skimpy underwear is tantilising, and often there are suggested scenarios of “professional jealousy” causing…
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A taboo subject: sex workers from the same family
1978 movie Pretty Baby publicity still* As Christmas is for family get-togethers, I occasionally ponder at this time of year, the place of sex workers within, or their relationships with, their families. Lately I have been talking with a few sex workers who have other family members also in the industry. Even though there are…
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Sex work, mental health and sex addiction
From the show The Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze by Max Gimblett I found it interesting when a sex worker I am acquainted with wrote that her father, on finding out she was a sex worker, enquired as to how she was going to safe guard her soul. He could just as easily have…
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What it’s like to be the only one
Stephanie Hunter – Australian Escort I’ve been in touch with a few escorts from Australia as well as one or two kiwi escorts now working over the ditch. It seems that even though our laws are similar, that is, that penetrative oral sex must also be covered, in recent times, in Australia sex workers have…
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Exit: Stage Left
There comes a time in a sex worker’s life when, despite the lovely harem of men who are her willing clients, she sometimes thinks that she has had enough of fucking for money. It may not be a feeling that comes on suddenly, like an epiphany, instead it may be a slowly evolving feeling of…
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Pleasure
Poor is the man* Whose pleasures depend On the permission of another From Justify My Love by Madonna © 2006 WMG Pleasure, according to a book I have been reading about women and aging, is something women deny themselves far more than is good for us. Apparently there is something that is released in our…
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Sublime Pleasure – how long is a piece of string?
Amore e Psiche by François-Édouard Picot (Painted 1817, Paris)* “How many times did you come?” is a question that many men wonder or even ask ladies after they have ascertained that their partner did actually orgasm while they had sex. However, orgasm for women is often not that cut and dried. I’ve been curious about…
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Orgasms – the great anti-aging secret?
Image: Jane Fonda – still hot in her advancing years – although she admits she has had plastic surgery, she is open about a happy sex life and her appreciation of porn. Could this be the real reason she still has a rather sexy twinkle in her eye? I’ve lost count of the number of…
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Advice from a Client
Les Nymphes et le Satyre by William Bouguereau. 1873, Clark Art Institute, Williamstown, Massachusetts. I welcome contributions from readers and clients, and while the contributor below has never been to see me, I gather he has chalked up quite a bit of experience seeing working ladies in his time. Over to him: I have been…
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Why would you want to be a sex worker?
Veronica Veronese* by Dante Gabriel Rossetti painted in 1872 with Alexa Wilding as the model. It is believed to represent “the artistic soul in the act of creation”. I’ve always liked new beginnings although of course generally they are nothing more than a mental reset. So the start of a new year is as good a…
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Are you old enough?
Still from the music video of Dragon’s Are You Old Enough? The legal age to be a sex worker in New Zealand is 18 and most sex workers will not accept clients under 18. According to my (light) investigations, there is actually no age restriction for sex workers’ clients other than the age restriction…
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Who’s that talking about you?
Sharon O’Neill (right) who wrote the song Maxine with the actress who played her in the Australian version of the music video (which this image is taken from.) A few days after my Christmas day blog post about whether or not a sex worker should tell her family she is a sex worker, I had a long…
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Places I have worked part 3
I’ve always hated this corny song, although this version seems tolerable. Play it while you read my post. A brothel next to a nunnery. Seriously, it was. There was a convent next door to Tudor Court where nuns lived. Once some visiting elderly nuns walked up our path accidentally while the girls were all sitting…